I've never really "feared" anything in my life up to now. There has been 'worry' when I was younger about exams, of going into the unknown, then when I got a little older, of the possibility of losing a family member, money issues etc....but the one thing I never worried or had a fear about was about my own mortality.
I always knew that if I was to die, that everyone close to me would carry on, it would be nature's speed bump along life's path but overall it would continue to move on.
Then......I'm on the cusp of Becoming Dad and you realise, you need to be there for this little one. No more messing about, you need to start to take things easy and look after yourself, to not get yourself into situations that might jeapordise your life. It's an odd sensation, to realise that you not only have to look after yourself, for you but also for the little person that is steamrolling into your life.
You, get told of all the changes that is going to happen in your life from now on, the sleepless nights, bottle feeds, nappy changes, not being able to just pick up your keys and leave the house and everything else that life throws at you but this thought, this Fear. No one tells you about this, maybe it's a right of passage, that every Dad comes to and we have to get there on our own.
This is the most exciting time I have ever been involved with and each day that gets bigger and I cannot wait to meet this little person but I can promise that, this fear will drive me to be the best man, the best dad, that baby could ever want.
Am I the only one, with this feeling? I don't know, I doubt I am. If you have this same feeling, leave a comment. If, you think of anything else, leave a comment.
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